Hidden tears

family

I said goodbye to my dad and sister at the Whitehorse airport today, I won’t see them again for at least eight months to come.

I hugged my dad, he held me tight. When he released me I felt warm inside and so lucky to be standing with him by my side, those were precious moments. I hugged my sister, and she held me tight. I felt so blessed to be standing their will all my family, those were truly precious moments.

My mom and I turned to go, and when I looked back at my dad I wanted to cry for the first time in a long time. His chin was scrunched up and I could tell he was holding back tears. I held back my tears, and hugged him again. As I followed my mom through security I looked back to wave to dad and Lindsay who were standing at the edge of the line. Again tears rushed to my eyes and I fought to hold them back. This was the last time I would see them for months to come. I was overcome with a cold kind of sadness. As I sat with my mom watching the pre-boarding passengers move away the airlines took on a new life to me. It was just an emotionless system of flights, tearing apart lives, renching hearts, and flying them far far apart. The idea held no consolation for me and I tried to push it from my mind. Each time I thought about my dad tears welled up in my eyes and I fought to push the thought from my mind. I had no idea it would be this hard.